New York was named after, of course, the Duke of York. It was previously named after Ronaldo Amsterdam, and when the Duke of York stepped in on the naming rights, Ronaldo was pissed. The "New" in "New Amsterdam" and "New York" is derived from the fact that both of these men were newborn babies. Anyway, so this is how the dispute went down. According to scholars, the two babies decided to duel it out - infant style, on the shores of New Yamsterdork. And I bet you can guess the ending. Ronaldo Amsterdam shot Dukey square between the brows. But it was a slingshot; he was fine. Later that week Ronny Amsterdam was deported back to Europe, because his parents missed him. Thus, New York.
Louisville was initially named after King Louis of Russia. Or wait, that's not right. It was Saint Louis of Russia. What am I talking about... Louisville was named after St. Louis, Missouri.
Cincinnati, surprisingly enough, was actually only recently discovered. During the whole Y2K scare, people all along the Ohio-West Virginia, Ohio-Pennsylvania border decided that they would not be safe from the impending "two zero zero zero" monster in the mountains, so they all panicked and jumped into the Ohio River and washed up like bloated seals on the shores of Cincinnati. Just then, the clock struck midnight, and there was no monster to be found! "This place is great!" they collectively cheered. And then a crazy guy said "Cinnamon Cinnamon Nature and Tigers!" The Cincinnatians threw him in the river. But the name stuck.
But enough about them, lets talk about me!
As you can probably tell, I don't have much to report. I just wanted to blog. Or did I...
I recently bought a book called "Mr. Funny Pants" and despite the name, it is probably the funniest book I've ever read. I can't read it in public because I can't stop laughing. And I usually read it in my hostel, which is filled with foreigners. And foreigners obviously can't understand American laughter, because I'm laughing in English. I just get confused stares.
This morning when I got off the subway it smelled like the ocean, and there was a nice breeze. It was awesome. It also smelled like locomotion exhaust, mixed with a hundred sweaty goats, and pesticides. But it was like, half ocean, half gross stuff. It's kinda like when you get an iced coffee from Starbucks. It's like yeah, I know this is really just half a cup of coffee... I'm getting ripped off here. I just gotta drink if quickly before the ice melts.
It doesn't work the same way with air, as it turns out. I started choking on invisible stuff. No more saltwater, please!
There's a sign on the door of my hostel dorm that reads: "Extra Blue Blankets", with an arrow pointing down. To the floor. I saw no blankets, so I figured they must be under the carpet. But when I wrenched up the carpet all i found were nickels and pennies and bodies.
Where are those blankets?
photo caption!
awesome park on the west side
'cool stories, hostel'
HAHHAHAHAHAHAH I lolled. Great History lesson about the cities; bet your grandfather never learned that at ole Bellarmine! Truly you are hilarious; i wasn't bored at all.
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